Hey guys,
Its been a loooong time since i posted, but i felt an overcoming need to post :) I just feel so angry and dissapointed in myself right now. Its like all these weird emotions I have never felt before combined to form a mish mash of sadness if that makes sense.
Ever since the beginning of term 2 things have slowly been falling apart. Things that were once unbreakable fell apart and disintegrated without realising the effect it had on others.
Then came my stupidity.. I made decsions without using my brain but another body part, which lead to hurting people around me in ways I couldnt even begin to imagine. Then your entire world comes crashing down....
But the worst part is even when you realise you screwed up more than any time in your life. And then you decide to change...
But your past history always catches us to you. I would like to tell you a story completely non-fictional and especially not based on my life. Learning from others mistakes i will use codewords only some people will understand, sorry if you dont get it, just ask me and I will probably tell you :)
One day there was a person "studmuffin" he was walking down the street when his good friend "happy seal" came to him upset and pissed. When "studmuffin" inquired what was wrong, he was told that "happy seal's" boss had taken away his laptop because he did not close it when asked to. But that wasnt the real problem. He had to present this huge presentation which meant so much, but all his info was on that laptop.
"Studmuffin" suggested that "happy seal" explain the situation to his boss and maybe get his laptop back. However seeing the mood that "happy seal" was in, "stud muffin" believed that "happy seal" would do something he would regret. "Stud muffin" offered to ask "happy seals" boss for him.
When "stud muffin" arrived at the bosses office he was invited in. In the office there were two people "happy seals" boss and "mr yilang lover"(sorry yilang :) only name i could think of) Surpisingly "happy seals " boss was very co operative and only asked for a permission slip from the people who would be marking "happy seals" presentation. When he was given the permission slip, everything seemed as if it would work out.
Suddenly "Mr Yilang lover" who was not involved in any such way asked "studmuffin" why he was there instead of "happyseal". "Stud muffin" replied that it was because "happy seal" was upset and didnt want to face his boss just yet. Suddenly "Mr Yilang Lover" rose up and started screaming at "Stud muffin" and told him to get lost cause it was none of his buisness even though "Stud muffin" tried to explain that he was only doing what he believed was right and that it was to help a friend.
"Stud muffin" was eventually kicked out and walked out with a puzzled and bemused expression. However "Mr Yilang lover" caught this expression and promptly called him back in and screamed at him "Come back at my lunchbreak. You and i need to have a talk".
"Stud muffin" came back at lunch with a big speech in his head, when he was put off his game by the presence of the company's top two head exectuitves who were also two of his favourite exectutives. He was flamed for a good ten minutes by by them both on his attuide and behaviour issues which he thought he had moved on from and was send out with his tail between his legs like a puppy on death row :(
Moral
Even when you promise yourself that you will change, you still get hurt in ways you couldnt imagine.
Sorry bout the long post, but think off it as catch up from all the months i havent posted :)
Aww good to get it off my chest and it sounds kinda funny :)
:) (: Kiran
:)
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